Aryuvedic Menage-a-Trois

My last weekend in India flew at warp speed. Friday was a happy hour planned and excuted by yours truly. It was quite successful, as it was the first happy hour in the entire two years of this project's operation! These people were thirsty! Not only that, it was a hookah bar. These people were craving some apple tobacco! We just couldn't make it for the belly dancers - it was the end of the week after all.

On Saturday, we travelled in a time machine, aka - The Autorickshaw, back to Medieval times - aka - Old Delhi. Old Delhi is the ancient part of the city that was here thousands of years before the Brits raped, pillaged and built traffic circles everywhere (brilliant for Delhi though - no one would obey traffice lights otherwise). It was almost as though there is an invisible forcefield seperating Old Delhi from New Delhi. Old Delhi is a chaotic frenzy of narrow passageways, millions of crowded people, ghastly and aromatic smells and dead and living animals. Many of Delhi's Muslim population live in Delhi. It is the first place I've visited where many women observed the hajib - the black veil covering the head and the mouth. There were skinned hanging sheep, goats and chickens. There were men in the process of skinning these animals. The goat and sheep heads were displayed on a table for purchase as well. Apparently animal brains are tasty. I'll take people's wods for it.

In Old Delhi, we visited Red Fort, which was built by the Shah Jahan, who built Taj Mahal. You could tell that in its day it was AMAZING. Then the 1850's rolled around. The Indians rioted against the British and in the process looted the precious and semi-precious stone inlay as well as the gold leaf. I swear, if Delhi put some major money into restoring this place to its full potential, it would be huge money maker for the area surrounding the old city.

From Red Fort, we took a bicycle rickshaw to Karim's - a hole in the wall famous for its kabobs. Oh my, they were ever so tasty.

Afterward, we perused a market and had drinks at the nicest hotel in Delhi - the Imperial. The Imperial (a glamorous classic hotel built in 1911) is the only place in Delhi with true Christmas decorations - it is British owned. Then it was off to dinner at a Punjabi restaurant. It was probably good, but I couldn't tell because my tastebuds were burned off after the first bite. I drank three mango lassies (a yogurt drink) to keep my mouth from falling out and my lips from falling off. My sinuses were completely cleared out by the end of the meal. The intense spices are probably why the air pollution hasn't given my sinuses to many problems.

Now here comes the aryuvedic menage-a-trois. I had an aryuvedic (ancient Indian medicine) massage scheduled at a well known clinic in Delhi. The doctor recommended a scalp massage - her: "Your hair is so dry! It will fall out if you don't do something about it!" Me: "That sounds great, but I'm also a little stressed and would like a full body massage". I was lead into a sparse room (this was the real deal - no water falls, no new age music). The therapists, two women, did not speak any English except "O.K.? O.K.?" They motioned for me to take off my clothes. So I strip to my bra and undies. Then they motion for me to take off everything. Surely they just mean bra. Nope. EVERYTHING. So here I stand completely naked in front of these two ladies. I then lay on the table and am immediately covered in two towels (this point becomes null later). One of the women massages my scalp with herbal oils. The soothing fragrance filled my nostrils and immediately relaxed me. Eyes closed, I slowly began to relax. Above me was a copper pot filled with warm/hot herbal oil. There was a hole in the bottom for the oil to drain over my forehead. One person continued to refill the pot and push it back and forth (like a pendulum) while the other massaged my scalp. After 50 minutes of this bliss, I was motioned to roll over on my tummy. Away went the towel. But hey, it was just my backside. No big deal. Bring on the massage!

Oh the massage. Both of the women were massaging the same body parts on each side of my body at the exact same time. It was absolutely exhilirating. My body felt like it was melting into the table (except, of course, when they massaged my feet - at which point I giggled and wiggled). Twenty-five minutes later, there was a change in position. Flip over onto back. Full frontal. Nothing covered. A fleeting thought went through my head - "I thought Thailand was known for its happy ending massages." They massaged my entire front - minus the no-no part. Tummy. Legs. Arms. Neck. Boob muscles (pectorals and side boob muscles). Shins. Ankles. Wrists. Toes. Fingers. Again, I forgot that I was naked and two people were massaging me at the same time. I was jello when it was all over. I was breathing so clearly through my nose. Trois cheers for Aryuvedic medicine!

Three nights remain of my stay in illustrious India. While I'm slightly put off by the thought of leaving, I am elated that I will arrive back to a U.S. with decked halls, holly, trees, candy canes, carols and gingerbread lattes! Not to mention good cheer, family and friends. :-)