The scary clown nightmare has manifest itself in the form of Ronald McDonald

To prepare for my trip to see Super Size Me, the documentary about Morgan Spurlock and his quest for McDonald's greatness, I ate lunch at McDonald's. McDonald's is one of my least favorite of the fast food chains (In-N-Out Burger and Chick-fil-A take the top spots). I thought McDonald's had a "value" meal with six nuggets. Apparently, I thought wrong. The smallest chicken nugget value meal one could acquire is 10 nuggets. Ten, as my mom says, chopped, chunked and form (which the movie brilliantly illustrates in all of its glory) chicken parts. I couldn't eat the 10. I was stuffed after six.
Maybe I don't have good memories of McDonald's (the movie explains how adults with fond memories of the golden arches as children grow-up to be the heavy users). The two prevailing childhood memories I have are as follows: 1. my aunt Penny took me, Scotty, Beth and Jennifer (sorry Lindsay, you were too little) to McD's for breakfast. Scotty puked in the bushes in the McPlayland and Beth sprayed vomit all over the front of Penny's truck as we were rounding the corner to the house. It was gross. I was six.
2. When I was in second grade, nuggets were "invented" (or shortly before that). Anyhow, I begged my mom to buy them (because they had to be better than those nasty burgers). She gave in. I took my first bite into the nugget and low and behold, there was a dark, hard, black thing in my nugget. It definitely was not a gold nugget. After a non-formal survey in my high school years, I found out that I wasn't the only person to experience this phenomenon.
I will admit that before embarking on a roadtrip, I will partake in McDonald's breakfast (sausage McMuffin and hash brown please). That's about it.
Now on to Super Size Me... It chronicles a month of Morgan Spurlock's life. This premise alone would make the most boring movie ever. The brilliance is that Morgan sets up rules much to the chagrin of his cool vegan-chef girlfriend (the two of them together are absolutely hysterical). The rules are as follows: 1. He must eat what is only behind the counter of McDonald's, 2. He must eat three meals a day, only from McDonald's, 3. When asked if he would like to SuperSize it, he must oblige and 4. He must have everything on the menu at least once before the 30 days are over.
Before embarking on the hilarious and often grotesque journey, he visits three doctors - a Gastrointerologist, a Hepatologist and a General Practitioner. All three doctors draw blood and conclude that Morgan is a very healthy adult male. He also visits a registered dietician. All three doctors predict that worst that could happen is that his tryglicerides (bad cholesterol) rise a little and that he may put on a few pounds. No one could predict what happens to his body after eating three McDonald's meals a day.
Aside from showing him eating and the deterioration of his health, the film evaluates the marketing of fast food and the food choices available to children. It examines the way children eat in school cafeterias (again, thanks Mom for packing my health lunches on a daily basis). It examines how lazy and obese American adults have become. He put on a pedometer and was only allowed to walk what the average American walks in one day (less than 2 miles). Difficult for a man who lives in NYC (where the average person walks 5 miles/day). The film also examines processed food as an addiction. It covers its back by discussing how people can choose what they put in their mouth. But how will they know their healthy options if they are inundated with fat-laden processed crap at every turn?
Super Size Me may sound a little dry, but Morgan is hysterical. He goes all over the country - NYC, DC, Texas, Wisconsin, West Virginia and L.A. You will laugh one minute and be appalled the next. You will definitely reduce your fast food intake if you are a "heavy user" as McDonald's calls it. Now if only they would make a film like this about cheese....
At the end of the film, when Morgan receives his final blood test results, it is revealed that his cholesterol is in the dangerous range and he has developed liver damage that is only seen in alcoholics on the last weeks of a drinking binge (luckily for Morgan, his liver damage is reversible because the liver is a remarkable organ that repairs itself). He has also gained 25 pounds.
I recommend this film as a date film, but not if you or your date is overweight/obese/fat/etc. It may make you guys feel uncomfortable afterward (especially if you have to eat dinner - they would feel guilted into ordering a salad at the restaurant, then binge on Ben and Jerry's at home). I would also recommend seeing it alone or taking a fast food addict friend.
I do not recommend eating McDonald's beforehand to celebrate seeing the film. Doing so made me queasy during the movie. Blech.
While watching the film, I recommend unsalted popcorn, no butter of course, and a diet coke. You will feel better about yourself after watching Ronald McDonald assist in destroying Morgan's liver.

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