Guilty Pleasure 2004: 13 Going on 30

Guilty Pleasure 2004: 13 Going on 30

This evening I developed a serious case of insomnia due to high chocolate intake. I’m not sure what most people do when they have insomnia. I watch a movie.
Lately, Netflix has been delivering enjoyable foreign films. Good Bye Lenin was great. Mostly Martha and Antonia’s Line (nice Sapphic sub-plots) were entertaining as well. They were also watched in the following pattern: watch film, nod-off, go to bed, wake-up, finish film. Tonight, forgetting what Netflix had in store, I ripped open the sleeve to find 13 Going on 30. I didn’t even want to see that in the theatre. A surefire way to cure my insomnia! Obviously it didn’t work because here I am writing this review in the middle of the night! It’ll end up being posted when I wake-up, but bear with me, it is 3:00am.
13 Going on 30 is basically a tweaked 2004 female version of Big. Jennifer Garner plays Jenna, a 13 year-old Kelly, I mean geek, in 1987. She is great to her best friend, Matty (indie film star Mark Ruffalo – thanks for finally selling out so everyone can enjoy you!), but like every 13 year old geek, wants desperately to be popular. She invites the popular bee-yotches to her house for a birthday party at which point she humiliates herself and her best friend….. Through some wishing and some fairy dust VOILA – she’s herself in 17 years at the age of 30.
Jenna wakes up as a 30 year old and quickly realizes she is a ruthless bitch. Although the term grody would better describe the way 13 year old Jenna feels about 30 year old Jenna.
The film follows her as she figures out what is going on in her adult life (hell, I’m 25 and I’m trying to figure out my adult life). She finds Matty and he helps her figure out where some changes need to be made. Along the way she teaches 13 year old girls in her building that “Love is a battlefield” and that they “are strong, no one can tell (them their) wrong”. The popular bee-yotch from her teen years resurfaces (not Romey and Michelle style – Bee-yotch and Jenna were friends!). She stabs Jenna in the back popular girl style (see, Stacy B., see Meghan R., I know what your doing now – stabbing people in the back). But of course everything works out just how you would like! Squealing with delight and laughing outloud are totally tubular and, like, totally permitted during the film.

FILM VIEWING PROTOCAL
This film must be watched with girlfriends – hopefully those with whom you befriended in junior high and high school. 13 Going on 30 must be watched when you are in a dismal mood – especially if you are lamenting about the sad state of affairs your life is in. You could reflect on the film: “Wow, the last 17 years went by and I have nothing to show for it”, but I recommend laughing throughout and tearing-up at the end. This film could be a possible date movie as long as your date is sensitive, understanding and has big, brown, puppy eyes that melt you into a puddle of water.
For food I recommend a combination from both 1987 and 2004: Diet Coke (omnipresent), Nerds, Razzles, a low-carb candy bar and grande soy latte with extra foam.

“We are young! Heartache to heartache we stand! No promises, no demands! Love is a battlefield!” ~Pat Benatar

Check out Mark on this website:
http://www.hands-clean.net/ruffalo/

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